So many questions, so little room…I presented your entertaining concerns to some other expert party givers and they came up with some fabulous tips and suggestions for both the host and the guest.

Peter Baker Photography

 Respond to an invitation as soon as you are able. It is horribly disrespectful to take for granted that your host assumes you are coming or that it doesn’t matter when you respond,“ explains Reed Collyer of Collyer Catering in Stamford. It DOES matter when you RSVP, for a few reasons.

     Your host or her caterer needs to anticipate numbers early on 
     It conveys that you are looking forward to attending 
     Respond right away so there’s no chance of forgetting to do it later

Bigger is not better. Large groups become unmanageable and there’s no way you’ll be able to make all of your guests feel as if you wanted to spend time or catch up with them. Large crowds are meant for weddings, milestone birthdays, and open houses.

Chef Bertrand L’Herbette of Fabulous Feasts in New Canaan reminds guests to “Let your host know if you plan on bringing a date. Showing up with an unannounced guest is rude and can often throw off your hosts’ plan.” Many of the experts I spoke with have stopped inviting “guests” or “+ 1s” unless they have prior knowledge of a significant other. And guests, there’s nothing wrong with attending functions alone. Don’t bring a stranger for the sake of bringing a date.

Set the welcoming tone right away. Always have food or drinks ready to serve the moment company arrives. It’s impolite and awkward to have them muddle around your home while you’re still busy getting ready.

You do not have to cook. Take advantage of prepared and packaged items if cooking is not your forte. Remember, simplicity is best.

Potluck only works if everybody is on the same page. If you are having people bring something don’t be shy about being specific with them. That goes for the wine, too. They’ll actually appreciate the guidance.

Even caterers have their own niches so research who does what the best. “We do it all” can be misleading. Look into using your fishmonger to cater a clambake, or the Spanish restaurant down the road if you’re thinking of having sangria, tapas, and paella! You have more resources than you think.

“If you hire a caterer, let them do their job. Micro managing what they do for a living, and what you are paying them for, is often futile,” says David Cingari of David’s Catering, “Caterers are there so you can enjoy your party—not work it!”

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